Hiya Gang!
I haven't posted in a while but not for a lack of wanting to.
Come to find out, this motherhood thing is quite hard.
Yes the obvious things like sleep deprivation and having a crying baby around can be difficult, but more than that, I struggle with feeling like I have so much to do but not wanting to neglect my Lil' Sweetcheeks because of my "to-do" list.
He is such a good baby so it's hard not to just put him down and go about my tasks.
I feel guilty if I don't pay him enough attention but then I feel guilty if I don't get life duties accomplished.
Such a conundrum.
I know that every mother out there can relate to me on this one.
I guess I'm just striving to find balance.
Balance between loving and nurturing a new born, maintaining adult life (groceries, cooking/cleaning, etc.), and pursuing my passion of wanting to be a full time photographer.
How do all of you do it?
How do you amazing mothers of the world strike this balance?
No seriously, like...tell me, please!
This new phase of our lives has been awesome and awful.
I've experienced wonderful highs and wonderfully disappointing lows.
I have had feelings of guilt, joy, sadness, pure delight, and boredom.
This is one wild ride.
A ride I wish, sometimes and in small amounts, I could get off of.
A roller coaster of the best and worst times.
And at the highest scariest part of the roller coaster when all I want to do is get off, return my ticket, and get a refund.....I look at this sweet boy's face.
This boy's perfectly round cheeks and big eyes.
And all of the sudden, this is the best most miraculous ride I could have ever dreamed of and you couldn't give me a million dollars to return my ticket.
So I'll stay on this crazy, unbelievably challenging, and equally unbelievably wondrous roller coaster.
Because, heaven knows, it's a short ride...and I want to enjoy every moment (even the scary ones).
Thanks for listening, you guys.
And seriously my fellow wonderwomen of motherhood....you're amazing and I love you.
Shoot ya Later :)
PS: I'll be back with a real post soon.......if I can get this roller coaster to slow down juuuuuuuust a little bit!
I have a long ways to go before I'd feel like I really have a handle on it but here are a few things that have helped me:
ReplyDelete1- the mindset. Troubleshoot. Try to pinpoint what isn't working and see what can be done about it. For a long time I felt like I had to choose between productivity or being a connected mom. When I focus on what I can accomplish *while also* tending the littles it helps me not push everything off for when they are sleeping (because really by that point I can be pretty tired too). Their needs do come first so I don't start something I cannot stop but given enough 3 minute sessions I can feel like I am making progress. Also I try to focus on one non-mothering goal for the day. When I have a clear goal I spend less time trying to prioritize in the moment because that choice has been made for the day. (photo editing while nursing? happens all the time over here-- is there any other way?)
2- The ring sling. I am not sure how well this would work with your back but baby wearing is amazing for my sanity and I can get quite a bit done with 1 1/2 hands without worrying about dropping the baby. My kids really like it. They love seeing what I am doing and it makes 'checking in' super easy because they are right there-- in kissing distance. If she is asleep she will sleep longer, if she awake we talk what is happening and I munch on her face, if she is hungry she nurses and, well, that works too, her head is in the crook of my elbow and her bum is in the sling (literally). We are together all the time so when I do put her down I don't feel bad about it ever. Seriously, if at all possible look into baby wearing and if you have any questions or concerns about it totally call or text me!
I totally get! Being a mom is hard, even when one went into it knowing it wouldn't be easy. I don't want to lose touch with my babies for the sake of a checklist but I also don't want my kids to have a mom who is resentful (simultaneously feeling guilty about feeling resentful), continually frustrated, or outright depressed. ...or to grow up thinking that the only time we do dishes or laundry is when we run out of something clean (because, you know, the housework will always wait... so it turns into a mountain of burden later).
I don't know if this is what you had in mind but I couldn't leave a sister hanging. Your baby is absolutely adorable and you are each lucky to have each other! And I love you so much!